


christmas fanfic because i didnt see one

by frontierpsychiatrist (cowboy_willie)



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Gen, author is ignorant author, fucking canadians, how do they work, or how canada works, tfw you dont know how snow is like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 00:35:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17151980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cowboy_willie/pseuds/frontierpsychiatrist
Summary: gucci gang, gucci gang, gucci gang, gucci gang, spend ten racks on a new chain, my bitch love do cocaine oh this shit's unedited ohit's five in the morning and im writing fanfic ohsomeone had to write h20vanoss christmas ohi did it ohim sorry ohsure do hope no y o u t u b e r reads thisif you're reading this, im very sorry for my crimes. i apologize. please forgive me. oh.





	christmas fanfic because i didnt see one

**Author's Note:**

> gucci gang, gucci gang, gucci gang, gucci gang, spend ten racks on a new chain, my bitch love do cocaine oh this shit's unedited oh  
> it's five in the morning and im writing fanfic oh  
> someone had to write h20vanoss christmas oh  
> i did it oh  
> im sorry oh  
> sure do hope no y o u t u b e r reads this  
> if you're reading this, im very sorry for my crimes. i apologize. please forgive me. oh.

After a whole year of continuous recording, editing, and posting videos, it was safe for Delirious to say that he needed that time off with family. When he'd gotten to the porch of his childhood home on Christmas Eve, he was bombarded by the hugs of his family and couldn't help but feel at peace. That and his mother's good ass meatloaf was a step-up from all the junk food he piled up over the years - oh man, he really has gained a lot - even his momma called him out on it. Christmas day was about the same ordeal as any other: open gifts, get that feel-good spirit, thank "Santa" for the present. There was no worry for clicks or views or having to worry about demonetization and the fear that maybe he'd have to go back to his office job- it was just him, his family, and the guy spamming voice call on Discord while he scavenged his mother's fridge. 

He pried open a container of gravy and dipped his fingers into it, humming with content. "Hi, hi, do you really gotta spam me on X-Mas?"

"Yes. That and I'm lonely as shit." 

"RIP Vanoss, died from aloningness." Delirious smiled and tapped along his servers, Vanoss still on the line. "You doing ok though?"

"Yeah... I'm good. Parents are angry, can't blame them." Delirious was appalled to hear that a gnarly snowstorm had passed through Canada, thus canceling nearly all possible flights. Vanoss was royally fucked in the middle of California. 

"Not your fault. You do a lot of stuff, you're a workaholic. You'll do it 'til you drop dead, you big hoot."  
Vanoss coughed awkwardly. "Exactly. I don't really visit my family much. You'd think I would too, after all they've done for me"

Oof... Delirious sucked his teeth in disapproval. "Gonna be honest, that's an asshole thing to do but no one is perfect. You just learn from that." 

"True. And you sure do like licking your fingers. Are you attempting to arouse me?" A pause. Truth be told, he was licking really fucking loudly. No normal being slurps gravy like a vacuum unless they're trying to show off their sexual prowess. Vanoss didn't need to know that. 

"Shuddddup, bitch. We're having an advice moment and you just ruined it." Vanoss chuckled into the mic and Delirious swore his heart twisted. Those have become real constant around him. 

"Yadda yadda, enough of the mush. I just wanted to slip by and say Merry Christmas from your favorite Canadian. This year's present should reach your apartment when you get back home."  
Delirious rolled his eyes in faux annoyance. "Don't flatter yourself." But a pesky smile slipped onto his face; god bless no face cam, amirite or amirite? "But... thank you for the gift. Merry Christmas, Evan. My present's still on the way, hope it reaches your address."  
"Same to you, Jonathan. Sorry for the spam by the way, haha."  
Despite the frozen lakes, the hibernating black bears, and the frostbite of the late Winter, Delirious was scorching. Since when did Evan call him Jonathan? "It's cool, totally cool! I'm just glad we could talk. Feel better soon and see you later, buddy?" He instinctively bit his bottom lip to stop himself from rambling. 

"Already feel better knowing I have you there, man."  
"I got your back, Vanoss." Panic sweat ensues after the call ends. All that was left of a calm Delirious is a sweaty, sexually confused Jonathan desperately trying to devour a can of corn while Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas blares on his sister's living room speakers. A good Christmas break indeed, especially when he got back to his apartment to find a red, neatly wrapped package on his doorstep. With the determination and mindset of a child on Christmas morning, he shoved the whole thing inside, tore the glossy wrapper off clean with his teeth, opened the box, and smiled softly when he looked inside. 

Stupid fucking bastard bought him Insane Clown Posse merch, a ten-dollar gift card for Yankee Candles- his house didn't smell that shitty, he was only exaggerating- a hastily scribbled note card saying thanks to Delirious... and two miniature porcelain teddy bears, one with a nice red tie and the other a blue bow. Holding hands. Face-to-face. Huh.

After a whole Youtube career of flirting, pining, and blushing... it was safe for Delirious to say that he wanted to ask Evan out.


End file.
